Thank you, Dorothy.

This is… familiar.

The fuse is ticking?

It’s ticking, we must flea!

Must be news about another family reunion.

the calls that go… boom?

felicidades! *clap clap clap*

Agreed. No longer answering the landline.

Very good one.

Somebody sent us the bomb!

“Blowing stuff up is such a clichéd mode of self-expression! what are you going to do next, take hostages? Make demands? Send me anthrax on a fucking mix tape?”

Anthrax jokes, kids. You remember those, right?

I mostly want to know why a bomb with a burning fuse is ticking.

Beecause that is what bombs do.

In addition, it is likely that the fuse has absorbed some water and the ticks are the popping noise caused by absorbed water expanding very rapidly due to heat, like when you drop chips/fries into oil only less often so it’s ticking rather than fizzing.

I will be interrupted by at least three of these today, possibly from work, but usually robocalls that don’t respond to the answering machine necessary to screen their calls.

And for those who wonder about the bomb, accidentally answering these robocalls means you get even more of tbem.