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Cat: If I had a hammer / I'd monetize the hammer / I'd monetize the hammer - all over this land / I'd rent to to the people who can't afford to buy a hammer / And if they damaged the hammer - I would charge them several times the retail value of the hammer / Then I would buy up all the hammers - and everyone would have to rent from me / Then I would sell my hammer business to private equity - who would pay themselves huge salaries to take the hammers apart / And sell the hammer heads to a smelter - and all the hammer handles to a company making children's salad servers / And then there wouldn't be ANY hammers / Which will really tank my new Smart-NailTM subscription service / (Cat considers his hammer) / Cat: Time to repossess some nails!

Tools of Capitalism
June 4, 2025
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