Going Around in Circles
January 23rd, 2012
Girl’s Story-Time Corner January 26th, 2012
The people making the thing you are getting in January keep pushing back the delivery date! Not such a big deal unless the thing is a very detailed way to keep track of your 2012. Which it is. So print this out to get started! It is January, for you. And I will get back to… companies that lie about their delivery dates, even though we talked about it, like, specifically, a month ago. Augh.
This made me smile, a bit. Partly because I can’t help but place the Return of Brooklyn in the time before I lived there. Partly because this Return of Brooklyn occurs at about the same time I first made these shirts. And I still have some! In a box in the closet! So now they are just $10. The Bardot bootleg shirts, too. $10! I will mail them to you from the New Foodie Brooklyn, from the Buildings Aspiring to be Brownstones filled with Artists Aspiring to be Self-Sufficient, just a short walk from the Cruel Joke That is Lofts and the pickle shop.
Before you end up at B. Dalton buying everybody photographs of babies dressed as fruit – again – consider the following alternatives, all helpfully available in the Attic Shoppe:
A Bad Decision Dinosaur sweatshirt, XL & XXL only!
Stickers and buttons to lose inside stockings!
Tote bags! Tote bags!
Original cartoon drawings!
Pencils that say “I’m Wasting My Life” inside a pencil case that does not!
Posters silkscreened by Mister Chen!
Also signed books, those are also pretty nice.
To get your order safely by Christmas, order by – Oh I don’t know. Does the post office make sense to you? Let’s say December 15 for residents of the USA.
Topatoco first class domestic mailing deadline is December 9, and the priority domestic mailing deadline is December 13, and look at all of these things that you can give to people! Other people.
Buttons, Shot Glasses, Trophies, Books, Tee Shirts, Tote bag, Other Things. You can hold them in your arms and drink in their physical presence and then give them away! Never to be seen again! One less thing to have to move.
This plan falls apart if other people give you presents back.
We have Christmas cards, if you like that kind of thing. Or if you enjoy frustrating/disappointing people who like that kind of thing.
It’s Bad Decision Dinosaur! What’s he collecting in that bucket? …teeth?
Cat and Girl trick or treating. Inside reads “Wrong Holiday.” And you can mix and match them with…
… completely inappropriate Thank You cards! Inside reads “And the money.” Can be altered to read “And the fudge,” “And the Target gift card,” “And the book I’d already read,” many things. No one will ever read the inside. They will be recovering from the shock of receiving a Thank You card.
Topatoco has announced its Holiday Ordering Deadlines. They are: they are complicated. Order by December 9 at Noon and then we don’t have to worry about anything.
What are the Attic Shoppe deadlines? Well, I’ll be going to the post office as often as I can. Your guess about the post office is as good as mine. December 9 should be good, but we (I) will be shipping (standing in line at the post office) until the very last minute. This customized map of Compromise makes a very good gift for someone you like but not that much and we only have five left in our (my) own personal cache!
Christmas cards? We have Christmas cards! Choose from Bad Decision Santa Claus or Wrong Holiday.
And the 2012 Fun Club! Sign-ups end December 1st. This makes an amazing gift because: you don’t know what’s going to be in it, and: when the giftee says “Why on earth did you think I’d like THIS?” you can say: I didn’t know what was going to be in it. They get a package every single month, so you get to say that TWELVE times. (Yes they can change their tee shirt size later on because you never pay attention to anything do you.)
This has been your winter holiday ordering information. Ready to go? GO!
If you want a Thanksgiving Alone you have to get started today.
