Shirk Shirts

Up with Button Downs!

These days knowledge moves at speeds faster than light, and light moves even faster. It's no wonder you don't have time to shower in the morning - let alone create a perfect look for every occasion. Slacker King to the rescue! With just a button down shirt, one to five minutes and a little ingenuity on our part, you can be the belle of any ball. Get started with these six sweet looks:

Neo-Prep You've accepted a pal's invite to a high-class soiree, but it won't be all gravy and stolen silverware unless you look just so. Grab a clean shirt (Hint: If it's not clean, use Windex) and pair it with dark slacks or a skirt for a look that says "I could conceivably be succesful."

Rocker Latest neo- neo- rockabilly sensation in town? Want to distinguish yourself from the meatheads in wifebeaters? You're all right in classic white - just flip up the collar and pack some smokes in your rolled-up sleeve (Hint: motor oil makes a great pomade). Mod That ratty old pajama top looks fine in the dying light of your television, but it won't cut it atop a scooter. Look sharp! No mod would be complete without that top awkward button buttoned. So pop some pills, grab a parka, and rumble with a rocker - you deserve it.
B-Boy/Girl Middle-class gentrification of African-American culture has been a hallowed tradition ever since Elvis took "Hound Dog" from a Big Mama Thornton rager to a paeon to a Basset. You can pull if off too - just don't try to get "down" with the "lingo." Punk Take scissors to any old button down and guarantee yourself a chorus part in the road tour of "Voidoids!". Pair it with slogans scrawled in Sharpie for the avant-political look (bonus points are awarded for slogans that invite your own death). Popster You think the tiny glasses and self-cut hair would be enough, but no. You're just mistaken for a slumming dot-commer. Slip an artfully wrinkled striped sweater over your shirt _ this is as close to wearing Modern Lovers albums as you'll get.